You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i now understand why vodka
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize