so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
