are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize