the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
