Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
