im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
