Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize