just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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