Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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