Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize