Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
