I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
