You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Drunk is not a location!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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