You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
