I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
