I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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