in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
