Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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