Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
