If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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