Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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