I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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