Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Who died my cat blue again?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
