Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
