So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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