I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
