Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
