You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
