are you still at the devil's house?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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