You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
