Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
