Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
