I skipped work to stalk him.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
