i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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