So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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