like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
