Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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