I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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