she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
