Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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