Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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