I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
