Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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