he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
