There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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