You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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