Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
