he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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