I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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