apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
