I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
