Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
