remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
