A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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