I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
