there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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