its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
